Round 4 - Mrs Cricket's Rag

Well done Slappers!!! A Skipper's greatest delight is surely watching individuals effortlessly gel together into a team. Adaption was the key and you blokes did it with aplomb. So far so good with the new changes. Maybe a few tweaks here and there (fielding). Nothing major. No need for me to go into stats (read gLOVE's brilliant and discerning post) other than to say we seemed to have stopped leaking runs in the first 8 overs when fielding. GREAT! Let's keep that shit up. Solid effort from all batting partnerships. They only got 9 wickets and a lonely 1 3rd Ball the entire match. Runs were coming thick and fast more consistently than any previous match, hopefully a sign of confidence returning (certain players) and things to come. All in all, a mighty win.

Round 4 – back slappers

game	opponent	us	them
4	fantastics*	176	13

*30 run handicap

BATTING

		out	partnership	total
handicap			0
brendan	keano	1	45	45
jamie	richo	3	29	74
g	jimmy	2	34	108
john	nachos	3	68	176

BOWLING

	wickets	runs
handicap		30
brendan	3	23
g	2	5
jamie	3	0
jimmy	3	0
john	4	1
keano	2	15
nachos	5	-35
richo	8	-26
	30	13

(slaptastic furniture) Match Slapper: Nachos


CENTRE SLAPPER: Nachos

At Stumps Squad: Keano & Nachos

You have to get a start somewhere, for the Fantastics at Matto it was 30 runs and an absolute mugging.

Having decided to mix everything else up, the Skipper preferred to instead set a total this week. Keano and Brendan went ably about the task with a stout 45, all the more impressive for the negative opening over. The Skipper and Jamie backed up with a solid effort, Richo putting one for the record books into the back net in fine style. Jimmy’s clean slate with the outs kept our partnership respectable before Nachos and John highlighted everything that has been wrong with the fourth pair this season, powering away as we posted our highest score thus far of 176.

In the field, extras second-top scored against us - well done Brendan, Jimmy, Johnny and Richo contributing one apiece (I guess there were some byes there somewhere too). Must note that Keano, Johnny and Jamie took sharp catches in unfamiliar positions, McGregor’s spilling of blood in the field an example to us all. To bang on at any further length about this game borders on the gratuitous: we scooped all available points, took a great many wickets and bar the handicap’s top score of 30 runs left our opponents negative for the evening.

Nick a deserved winner of the match slapper, particularly after three sterling all-round efforts. A final mention for Richo, brilliant figures mate.

Round 3 - return to earth

game	opponent	them	us
3	forespins*	129	112

* 5 run handicap

BOWLING

	wickets	runs
handicap		5
dunc	0	46
g	2	6
jamie	1	29
jimmy	3	3
keano	1	14
lenno	0	26
nick	3	-1
richo	3	1
	13	129

BATTING

			out	partnership	total
handicap				0
1	keano	lenno	2	37	37
2	dunc	jimmy	4	6	43
3	jamie	richo	2	18	61
4	g	nick	3	51	112

(heath sledger memorial) Match Slapper: G


What does one say?

Those who look for signs will be pondering the razzle-dazzle of the new shirts, the pressure of Schmitz moving to a two-camera setup or those assembled looking terribly forward to having a beer with the latest ring-in. For what it’s worth I’m pointing the finger at Johnny but let’s not get bogged down in a blame game.

Yet again this week our opponents were provided the start, we then took the concept of handicapping a little further, standing by while the ForeSpins rattled up 114 from the first 8 overs. Only Jimmy’s wicket-taking turn at the crease costing a miserly 5 runs applied pressure to the wound, making the others who bowled (yours truly included), well, shitful frankly. Of course if you weren't bowling at this point you were fielding at a level of similar frankness. Fresh Slapper Dunc was thrown into the thick of things, copping a batting power over to boot.

The Skipper threw the ball to Nick to get the second half of the innings underway, our bowling power over delivering two wickets and we were away. The third pair went on make a well compiled 0, the last pair 10.

Our 129-run chase totalled 112, thus omitting a happy ending to the evening.

We of course bid a fond farewell to team romantic and general nice-guy Lenno for the time being. It will be a week of mixed emotions as it’s hard to be certain who's best to open the batting with Keano now?

Round 2 - Mrs Cricket's Rag

Sitting at home on Wednesday arvo drawing up draft 6 or 7 of the bowling line up I was confronted with a call from Tim, the centre manager, advising me we were facing a forfeit.

My skippers instincts were telling me to take the points, surge up the ladder in our quest for a home in the top 8 and the ultimate glory thereafter. But having spent the last week religiously 'knocking in' my new bat, my passion for the game was too strong.

I needed to PLAY. I wanted to SLAP.

Round 2 - (ahem) two from two

game	opponent	them	us
2	frantic*	106	139

* 10 run handicap

BOWLING

	wickets	runs
handicap		10
damo	2	-5
g	0	20
jamie	0	27
jimmy	2	17
john	2	3
keano	1	14
nick	3	16
richo	1	4
	11	106

BATTING

			outs	partnership	total
handicap				0
1	keano	nick	6	1	1
2	damo	jimmy	1	43	44
3	jamie	richo	4	20	64
4	g	john	0	75	139

(special guest star) Match Slapper: Damo

At Stumps Squad: Damo

We won. Damo played OK.

Round 1 - one from one

game	opponent	them	us
1	floggers	98	121

BATTING

			partnership	total
handicap			25
1	keano	lenno	21	46
2	faze	nick	-2	44
3	brendan	richo	17	61
4	g	john	60	121

(inaugural) Match Slapper: Keano


At Stumps Squad: Nick & Richo

Until such time as the Skipper writes the official account, herewith a summary of what was a new beginning for the troublesomely named ChorusVerseVerse - what song starts with a chorus? 'I Shot the Sheriff' I guess, but I cant think of another - Game 1 for Pitchslap.

Richo’s task to assemble a side was not without issue. With flights out of New Zealand heavily booked as always, we were without the services of our pakeha. Cotton has returned to Bleak City while appallingly Ivan is now yet another fine and proud Australian lacerated by a Sting-ray (that’s it you carnts, it’s war). Despite his failure to answer the call on previous occasions, Cowell was pardoned to debut along with Nick and Faze.

My memory being what it is, I perhaps have a hazy recollection of there also being only 6 players on the other team.

Despite the rich vein of form we took into the break, our opponents The Floggers afforded us a 25 run handicap and chose to have a bat.

Highlights in the field necessarily require mention of Faze’s wicket-taking mystery ball to centre operator Tim and, of course, Keano’s continued ownership of the on-side backcourt. Two catches particularly making like an immovable object. Such catching permits continued development of his unique between the legs flick before we all tell him to quit it and throw the fucken thing.

Richo and Nick's selection in the ‘At Stumps’ squad, also with reference to the batting figures above, suggest they both bowled superbly. In the end the Floggers failed to reach the hundred, posting a gettable 98.

The surprisingly circumspect opening combination of Keano and Lenno provided yet another stable platform. Nick and Faze’s expressive style struggled against some impressive fielding, before Cowell and the skipper applied the required steady hand. John and yours truly were able to choose the bowlers we had to face. Rather than preying on the egos of at least one of our more fancied opponents we (OK it was primarily my doing) instead chose to plunder the worst on offer, making our contribution less impressive than it may otherwise have been.

One from one for Pitchslap, a fine birthday present for the skipper.